God watches as I just burn myself up to ashes
He spits at me, scorning my shame
And I look up, arrogant and proud,
'I see you God and I feel you
I will not heed'
I betray his sense as I cut myself
The blade tastes my flesh
Licking the blood as the silver turns to red
Drops of my being melt onto the crimson floor
No one knows, no one will...
I die... again!
God rebels against me, breathes life
All filthy and vile into my hide
One more chance he says,
I give you more more chance
One more death I say,
I give you one more death
I tell you, I will not heed.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
The Last Battle
I hold on to my crucifix
My only sword in this last battle.
Humanity decayed
Divinity betrayed
Nothing left to salvage the world.
The lights go low and the voices arise
Screams of the fray slay the silence,
But deep within me, I strongly see
The whisper of my prayer shall set the world free
Falling asleep with every bomb deafening my ears
Time starts to run out as I feel their howls creep into my spine
All I have been and all I ever will be
Vanish from my sight, and I am left with the only present I have been given.
Bloodshed, slaughter and agony,
All I see, all I feel…
Then,
As though injected with sleeping poison
My mind relinquishes, drifts into a land of sheer innocence and purity
Or maybe the land of the dead.
And the sun decides to rise once again
Apathetic to human tragedy.
The voices are silent
The crows feed on the remainders of flesh
Few men remain on their feet
Heads held low
Conscience awakened
'What have I done?'
What began with anger ended with monstrous devouring of human skin…
Will the world of tomorrow learn
From the mistakes of their forefathers?
Will the bloodstained sins
Ever be justified?
Or will history, as it always has,
Repeat itself once again?
My only sword in this last battle.
Humanity decayed
Divinity betrayed
Nothing left to salvage the world.
The lights go low and the voices arise
Screams of the fray slay the silence,
But deep within me, I strongly see
The whisper of my prayer shall set the world free
Falling asleep with every bomb deafening my ears
Time starts to run out as I feel their howls creep into my spine
All I have been and all I ever will be
Vanish from my sight, and I am left with the only present I have been given.
Bloodshed, slaughter and agony,
All I see, all I feel…
Then,
As though injected with sleeping poison
My mind relinquishes, drifts into a land of sheer innocence and purity
Or maybe the land of the dead.
And the sun decides to rise once again
Apathetic to human tragedy.
The voices are silent
The crows feed on the remainders of flesh
Few men remain on their feet
Heads held low
Conscience awakened
'What have I done?'
What began with anger ended with monstrous devouring of human skin…
Will the world of tomorrow learn
From the mistakes of their forefathers?
Will the bloodstained sins
Ever be justified?
Or will history, as it always has,
Repeat itself once again?
Friday, July 3, 2009
Genesis
I met her before the waking of the world
In a dreamlike state where she and I were not human yet
The sea spat us on the shore where the sand sheltered our sleep
And when our eyes opened, we perceived each other's beauty.
Hers was the beauty of a goddess,
She shone far more than the spectre that hung above us
She filled the vacant space of the air,
And she replaced my senses.
When we first spoke, I felt her singing my name
As she muttered every word
And I sang my longing whenever her eyes drifted from my face.
We were alone at first.
Two creatures thrown into a virgin world
Nothing disrupted our peace
We were made to love, and love we made.
Night and day
We shared our passion and poured our insides into one another
We became one.
The wind came, and asked for half my being,
Half my soul and half my flesh
Then asked my love for the same
And took them far beyond the sea,
Where she shaped our son.
When our child was born,
It was carried by the ocean on the shoulders of a wave
Who mourned her loneliness and scorned our love,
Envious, she poisoned the child
Returned it misshapen and seeded with pride.
We never saw the child was sinful
We thought the days of bliss would forever stay
Pride and ignorance, were the first two sins to come to the world.
And we were too blind to see them.
The child grew a beautiful man,
Married a seductive siren from the deep.
They had their children, two beautiful men and one mermaid
Who seduced her brothers, turned them onto one another.
The strongest won. The most instinctive.
And the intelligent perished.
Survival was for the fittest.
And the fittest married his well deserved prize. His sister.
They gave birth to further men and women,
Who learned from their parents,
Arrogance, pride and vanity.
Each challenged the other,
And each gave birth to more of our kind.
Years and years passed and my children grew older.
They became plenty, and they filled the earth and invaded it.
Planted in them were the virtues of the land.
Yet the initial seed of pride remained.
Poisoning them, and following them generation after the other.
But they survived.
They remained.
And they multiplied.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Soul of the night, redeem me into innocence:
I beg.
Show me truth without its mask
Let not sin into my skin as my children allowed
Ah heavens! Return me to my love's arms
Bring her forth to erase the devil's mark
I was blind, and blindness disrupted the world
Mother Gaea,
My soul lives on into your heart
And your heart weakens today
Because of the foolishness of my kind… of my children
I shall perish Mother,
Take your revenge and make them suffer
And go your way.
A new beginning starts at the end.
Bring forth that end…
In a dreamlike state where she and I were not human yet
The sea spat us on the shore where the sand sheltered our sleep
And when our eyes opened, we perceived each other's beauty.
Hers was the beauty of a goddess,
She shone far more than the spectre that hung above us
She filled the vacant space of the air,
And she replaced my senses.
When we first spoke, I felt her singing my name
As she muttered every word
And I sang my longing whenever her eyes drifted from my face.
We were alone at first.
Two creatures thrown into a virgin world
Nothing disrupted our peace
We were made to love, and love we made.
Night and day
We shared our passion and poured our insides into one another
We became one.
The wind came, and asked for half my being,
Half my soul and half my flesh
Then asked my love for the same
And took them far beyond the sea,
Where she shaped our son.
When our child was born,
It was carried by the ocean on the shoulders of a wave
Who mourned her loneliness and scorned our love,
Envious, she poisoned the child
Returned it misshapen and seeded with pride.
We never saw the child was sinful
We thought the days of bliss would forever stay
Pride and ignorance, were the first two sins to come to the world.
And we were too blind to see them.
The child grew a beautiful man,
Married a seductive siren from the deep.
They had their children, two beautiful men and one mermaid
Who seduced her brothers, turned them onto one another.
The strongest won. The most instinctive.
And the intelligent perished.
Survival was for the fittest.
And the fittest married his well deserved prize. His sister.
They gave birth to further men and women,
Who learned from their parents,
Arrogance, pride and vanity.
Each challenged the other,
And each gave birth to more of our kind.
Years and years passed and my children grew older.
They became plenty, and they filled the earth and invaded it.
Planted in them were the virtues of the land.
Yet the initial seed of pride remained.
Poisoning them, and following them generation after the other.
But they survived.
They remained.
And they multiplied.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Soul of the night, redeem me into innocence:
I beg.
Show me truth without its mask
Let not sin into my skin as my children allowed
Ah heavens! Return me to my love's arms
Bring her forth to erase the devil's mark
I was blind, and blindness disrupted the world
Mother Gaea,
My soul lives on into your heart
And your heart weakens today
Because of the foolishness of my kind… of my children
I shall perish Mother,
Take your revenge and make them suffer
And go your way.
A new beginning starts at the end.
Bring forth that end…
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Introduction to Death and Rebirth
Death and Rebirth is an autobiography in verse. It has the different
stages I went through in my life. The poems basically speak of my
experiences throughout this journey we call life.
It begins with The Birth of a Poet, where my senses were
introduced to the world, where I found myself experiencing the
complexity of human emotions. Here I would like to ask the reader
the excuse the frailty of style in that chapter, for some of the poems
date back till 2004 where I was fifteen years old. I could have
edited them of course, But I decided to leave them in their chaos,
for they represent an era of innocence and pure spontaneity in my
writing.
Death of Innocence represents the time where I literally hit rock
bottom in my emotions, and you will find that very much
reflected, and here I would like to apologize, for some poems
might seem too dark, and too depressing. For at the time, if only
words would help me express, I was in that transitory state where
childhood was to be left behind, and I was left to face the cruelty of
a world to which I was unprepared.
Transitory Silence represents the time where I found myself inside
a bubble where I felt all my of my thoughts were dispersed. It was
a difficult phase, for it often brought drought for my pen, which is
every writer's fear. In that phase came deep reflection and reevaluation
of values and thoughts upon myself and the world. It
was a crucial phase that helped escape the depression that, I later
on learned, was self-inflicted.
Rebirth of Faith is what I can call the time I am going through right
now. Where there is strong belief in the world, in love, myself,
others and the human condition as a whole. I have become a
learned and experienced man.
The boy who once suffered, hurt and went through phases and
phases of depression now truly understands who he is, and he is
set on reaching what he believes is the ultimate goal of his
existence, which is to reach out to others, teach them of his
experience so that they would be inspired to improve theirs.
stages I went through in my life. The poems basically speak of my
experiences throughout this journey we call life.
It begins with The Birth of a Poet, where my senses were
introduced to the world, where I found myself experiencing the
complexity of human emotions. Here I would like to ask the reader
the excuse the frailty of style in that chapter, for some of the poems
date back till 2004 where I was fifteen years old. I could have
edited them of course, But I decided to leave them in their chaos,
for they represent an era of innocence and pure spontaneity in my
writing.
Death of Innocence represents the time where I literally hit rock
bottom in my emotions, and you will find that very much
reflected, and here I would like to apologize, for some poems
might seem too dark, and too depressing. For at the time, if only
words would help me express, I was in that transitory state where
childhood was to be left behind, and I was left to face the cruelty of
a world to which I was unprepared.
Transitory Silence represents the time where I found myself inside
a bubble where I felt all my of my thoughts were dispersed. It was
a difficult phase, for it often brought drought for my pen, which is
every writer's fear. In that phase came deep reflection and reevaluation
of values and thoughts upon myself and the world. It
was a crucial phase that helped escape the depression that, I later
on learned, was self-inflicted.
Rebirth of Faith is what I can call the time I am going through right
now. Where there is strong belief in the world, in love, myself,
others and the human condition as a whole. I have become a
learned and experienced man.
The boy who once suffered, hurt and went through phases and
phases of depression now truly understands who he is, and he is
set on reaching what he believes is the ultimate goal of his
existence, which is to reach out to others, teach them of his
experience so that they would be inspired to improve theirs.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Poetry Book
Two years ago, I submitted a book to a website, www.lulu.com, where I posted a poetry book that can be sold through a print-on demand method. Now, two years after I posted it, they send me an email telling me that the book would be available on amazon.com!
And it brought me an idea. Currently I am working on the books, fixing it and editing it, in hopes of publishing it in Lebanon.
Point is, I am now listed in amazon! go check out the book! ^_^
Death and Rebirth - Ribal Haj
http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/death-and-rebirth/674242
P.S : I know, the cover sucks!
And it brought me an idea. Currently I am working on the books, fixing it and editing it, in hopes of publishing it in Lebanon.
Point is, I am now listed in amazon! go check out the book! ^_^
Death and Rebirth - Ribal Haj
http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/death-and-rebirth/674242
P.S : I know, the cover sucks!
Abstraction
Dans un monde sans vision
sans contacte physique,
sans sexualite
Tu es paru
Me manquer
me bouleverser
Ma croyance en une ame abstraite,
rend mon coeur le plus concret,
a le toucher,
et l'embrasser...
a S. A. le seul a m'encourage d'ecrire en francais... tu te connais! :)
sans contacte physique,
sans sexualite
Tu es paru
Me manquer
me bouleverser
Ma croyance en une ame abstraite,
rend mon coeur le plus concret,
a le toucher,
et l'embrasser...
a S. A. le seul a m'encourage d'ecrire en francais... tu te connais! :)
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Silence of my god
Silence,
Is the language of my god,
As he turns his face.
Loud screaming, deafening my human ears
While my soul screeches for divine sound.
Left my heart buried in the dying soil
While I look for answers in salty seas
Deliver my speech O mighty divine!
Offer me truth I most implore
Relieve the pain of loss!
For you I have fought my wars
For you I have wept my tears
Eternally yours I have promised my soul
Given it strength, fed it your words
Now, facing unbearable agony,
I beseech you,
And my creed is found in vain.
For you have shut your ears
And forsook me…
Again.
Is the language of my god,
As he turns his face.
Loud screaming, deafening my human ears
While my soul screeches for divine sound.
Left my heart buried in the dying soil
While I look for answers in salty seas
Deliver my speech O mighty divine!
Offer me truth I most implore
Relieve the pain of loss!
For you I have fought my wars
For you I have wept my tears
Eternally yours I have promised my soul
Given it strength, fed it your words
Now, facing unbearable agony,
I beseech you,
And my creed is found in vain.
For you have shut your ears
And forsook me…
Again.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Simplify
To simplify my emotions
I write you stupid love songs
But love!
Easy words fall unworthy
Poetry withers at the mention of your name
Rhyme loses its musicality
And verses fall ashamed
Love,
You strip me off my education,
My talent and reputation
Oh sweetheart!
The more I try, the harder I fail…
I fail, Oh yes I fail
But failure boils me
It kills me
And death feels good
Death feels sweet.
So I'll shorten my phrase
For the sooner I shut lips,
The sooner you'll kiss me
So kiss me,
And silence the desperate poet
Pathetic at composing rhyme
Oh if only with every silence,
You would kiss me each time!
I write you stupid love songs
But love!
Easy words fall unworthy
Poetry withers at the mention of your name
Rhyme loses its musicality
And verses fall ashamed
Love,
You strip me off my education,
My talent and reputation
Oh sweetheart!
The more I try, the harder I fail…
I fail, Oh yes I fail
But failure boils me
It kills me
And death feels good
Death feels sweet.
So I'll shorten my phrase
For the sooner I shut lips,
The sooner you'll kiss me
So kiss me,
And silence the desperate poet
Pathetic at composing rhyme
Oh if only with every silence,
You would kiss me each time!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
To Tuomas...
Bless your words, for they wound my soul
They cut through my being like a blade that rapes my blood
They waken my heart from its numbness
Revive my insides, thirsty for feeling
Your verses weave thoughts within my dreamless mind
Shatter the walls of my inner flood
They are a drug that circulates in the veins of my stiffened hand
They creep into me and the poet inside is resurrected
My Christendom is built upon your church and bible
That teach of pain, of sorrow and of dear sweet life.
You are no god, and far from being divine,
And it comes a consolation
You are no man-created being,
You are your own created self,
A self anointed Christ!
I shall not worship you, nor your words
But I shall feel them, remember them
And build my poem upon them,
A foundation of my rhyme
You, among the thousand prophets,
Are the only I might call a friend,
And if only I was your friend!
I shall dwell within each line your hand weaves,
In desperation awaiting every magic…
I sign my letter with my only name,
Nemo, the once and forever.
They cut through my being like a blade that rapes my blood
They waken my heart from its numbness
Revive my insides, thirsty for feeling
Your verses weave thoughts within my dreamless mind
Shatter the walls of my inner flood
They are a drug that circulates in the veins of my stiffened hand
They creep into me and the poet inside is resurrected
My Christendom is built upon your church and bible
That teach of pain, of sorrow and of dear sweet life.
You are no god, and far from being divine,
And it comes a consolation
You are no man-created being,
You are your own created self,
A self anointed Christ!
I shall not worship you, nor your words
But I shall feel them, remember them
And build my poem upon them,
A foundation of my rhyme
You, among the thousand prophets,
Are the only I might call a friend,
And if only I was your friend!
I shall dwell within each line your hand weaves,
In desperation awaiting every magic…
I sign my letter with my only name,
Nemo, the once and forever.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Remedy
Watch me die as I shed my skin.
I agonize before your eyes and you stand helpless wishing there was something you could do to cease my pain.
I watch you through half open eyelids as you weep like a child
'Give me the kiss' I mutter under my breath
'Give me the kiss that springs life into my veins'
But your ears are deafened by the sound of your silent tears.
'Darling, your lips are my remedy
Come forth and electrify me with the power of your breath
Give me the touch I need to live onto
My dose of heart beating you inject!'
'My insides are numb and I feel hollow
Frozen without your love
Overcome by shadows swarming to claim my soul'
But I do not give up
'Your love will revive me,
Your love will protect me
It will save me.'
As you begin to turn your face to walk away
I feel my heart bursting the words 'I love you'
I scream into myself!
I bellow to silence the heart that keeps you from hearing me
Then…
My heart, as if obeying my command, stops…
And I am left alone in a moment of time,
Alone with my soul,
And I must deliver my final words
Before embarking onto the journey,
Towards nothingness…
I decide on my words, and direct them to you,
'He is my soul'
I feel you stop in your tracks, as if to listen
'I love you…'
Then nothing…
My lips moisten, and I feel…
… the blood running through my vein
… the air penetrating my lungs
… the heartbeat
… the breath
… the soul returning to me
I feel…
Your kiss
and I feel…
Alive again.
My eyes open, and I see the most beautiful scene in existence
Your teary eyes starring into mine.
I agonize before your eyes and you stand helpless wishing there was something you could do to cease my pain.
I watch you through half open eyelids as you weep like a child
'Give me the kiss' I mutter under my breath
'Give me the kiss that springs life into my veins'
But your ears are deafened by the sound of your silent tears.
'Darling, your lips are my remedy
Come forth and electrify me with the power of your breath
Give me the touch I need to live onto
My dose of heart beating you inject!'
'My insides are numb and I feel hollow
Frozen without your love
Overcome by shadows swarming to claim my soul'
But I do not give up
'Your love will revive me,
Your love will protect me
It will save me.'
As you begin to turn your face to walk away
I feel my heart bursting the words 'I love you'
I scream into myself!
I bellow to silence the heart that keeps you from hearing me
Then…
My heart, as if obeying my command, stops…
And I am left alone in a moment of time,
Alone with my soul,
And I must deliver my final words
Before embarking onto the journey,
Towards nothingness…
I decide on my words, and direct them to you,
'He is my soul'
I feel you stop in your tracks, as if to listen
'I love you…'
Then nothing…
My lips moisten, and I feel…
… the blood running through my vein
… the air penetrating my lungs
… the heartbeat
… the breath
… the soul returning to me
I feel…
Your kiss
and I feel…
Alive again.
My eyes open, and I see the most beautiful scene in existence
Your teary eyes starring into mine.
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