Tuesday, November 17, 2009

To My Beloved

And as we made our love,
I bit my teeth too deep inside my own skin
You have consumed me wretched,
And I here, your beloved, am avenged
By the name of thy heart I shall endure
By the name of thy love, I shan't...

Mend your words, lest you may save that heart of mine
Utter resonant syllables, iambic musicals
Sing for my heart, give life to its feathered wings
Mend your words, lest you may relieve that broken heart.

I beseech you, and deplore your mercy,
For I die alone, each night, mourning
Your arms, your lips, your love
I mourn them gone, I mourn them dead

…and are we dead?

Plainness I beg, i wish you not
Heave your heart into your mouth
Cut me, slay me kill and betray me
But give no words of flattery

we are dead…

Let it be so, thy truth then be our allegiance spared
From this hour forth, we cease to be,
Gaea forebode our souls to clash
A stranger to my heart you love shall live.

Avoid my sight for I see no more
I hear no more and am no more
Lest I wallow alone unaffectioned
Be you my sworn,
Eternally, and forever
My beloved.

Friday, November 13, 2009

The Mountain

You climb a mountain, your knees are skinned and your body weary. You gasp for breath every once in a while, for the air escapes you. You promise yourself it will get better. You promise yourself that it's a phase. The storm will pass. Yet deep within you know that storm will turn into a hurricane, the peak of the mountain is a dead end. A cliff awaits you and the up climbing will result a crash.
You breathe deeply. Stop for a moment, then make another step, and break into an uphill run.

The meadows under are far behind you now. You look back and remember the sweet smell of the rose. You forget how it stung you, and you promise yourself the good times will come back. But paradise was lost, it will never be regained.

Your lashes flap as the whirlwind blows. The tears get mixed up with the dust. Your lips are dry. You lick them to erase the cracks on them as you go on with your endeavor.
You promise you will not bow. You promise you will not break and shut everything away. The conquest becomes your obsession, and the mountain has to be conquered.
The world under you had tied your feet with ropes. The Hands begin to pull you down as you hang on to every rock and pull yourself up. The Hands are hateful of your strength. The Hands are desperate for you.
You promise you will win. You promise you will survive.
For days on end your journey lasts. And running up the hill becomes your lifestyle.
And when you see the peak nearing, your heart skips a thousand beats. It knows what awaits, and realizes the inevitable death. You quicken your pace, and with your feet you kick the Hands away, for you want the climb to be finally over. You want to be relieved. And then…
You reach the end.
You stand in ecstasy at the top of the world, and the cold air fills your lungs. You close your eyes to savor the moment. The moments tick in perpetual motion as you seem eternal. A defiant of nature's reality. And then you remember. Your heart trembles. Your hands shake, and you open your eyes.
Beautiful scenery before you. The whole universe opens up for you. God-like knowledge is yours to grasp. But your heart could only think of one thing. The fall.
You look down and see yourself at the brisk of the infinity. You look into of the eyes of the world beneath you, an abyss of light. You fear, you shake, you tremble, and your legs give way…
You fall…
For hours you fall.
You feel yourself a motionless creature in constant drop.
You think that the ground will refuse to catch you.
And you are filled with hope.
That this might not be the end…
And then…
You crash.
You hear the sound of your bones crashing, as every part of your being is one with the ground.
You feel you are dying.
You feel you are never to get up again, and you wait for your spirit to ascend the heavens. But it resides. It refuses to let go of you.
For months you suffer. You cry, you beseech the heavens to take you away.
But you prayer is unanswered. You remain in you earthly dwelling, hung between life and death.
With time you wallow in despair that you cannot see that your bruises are healing. The bones are mending, and your are retuning to life.
Years pass and you begin to notice your better condition.
You pant as you try to pick yourself off the floor, and cry each time you fail to do so.
But time is your ally, and with time you are restored.

After what seemed like an eternity of pain, your feet prove themselves strong. You fix your hands to the floor, and pull yourself upwards. Invisible wings lift you a little as you fix your knees on the ground. You remain in a crawling position for a few seconds as you take a deep breath.
You promise you will stand, you promise you will live.
And you do.
You pick yourself up, and force yourself on your feet.
You look around you, the meadow is as beautiful as you remember it.
You feel the wind brushing your hair, and you raise you head up,
You look at the sky, joyful and victorious, and feel the sun shining on your skin.
You smile to yourself, and look in a new direction.
You resume your journey with aching feet, as you promise yourself you will conquer the next mountain you see.